I have been a stay at home mum (SAHM) since Mia was born in 2013. Up until 2 weeks before she arrived in the world, I had been working as a teaching assistant in the school I spent a year at aged 10 and the school I really wanted my own children to go to. I loved my job and I had always seen myself training to be a teacher, but it just never happened. When we decided to have a baby, we also decided that Mario would go to work, and I would stay at home while our children were little. It’s what my mum did with us and having always wanted to be a mummy, what I ultimately wanted too.
Being a Stay at Home Mum
I really love being at home and although it’s a fairly old fashioned and traditional setup, it works for us. However there are a number of things that sometimes bother me about It’s not as easy being a stay at home mum as you may think it is! and I think they are almost unspoken and forbidden things for us to talk about so I thought I would talk about them here in case you are, like me, a SAHM or you are wondering what the same things!
What do you do all day?
I think it’s a major common misconception that SAHM’s sit around most of the day with their feet up watching This Morning and flicking through the latest gossip magazine. As a SAHM there is literally something to do every minute of the day. Even when you have school age children where you have a few hours in the day to get things done, that time goes so fast and you’re always clock-watching! I probably sit down for about 20 minutes to have lunch with Lottie before I get on with the daily cleaning or toddler class. Then there’s the daily laundry and any shopping that we need. Then it’s back out to get Mia from school, dinner to cook, tidying up, bath time and bedtime when I can then sit down and watch some telly.
You must get loads of work done?
Another common misconception is that I get chance to do loads of work on my blog and don’t have to work just in the evenings. Whilst I do get about an hour to do some general blog work done each day, that time is by all means stop/start. Either child will need a snack, start randomly crying or ask me to play with them so you never get a good run at writing a blog post or scheduling in some social media posts! I used to like to work in the evenings but more often than not now I’m just far too tired by the time I sit down to relax! I have had to come up with a daily blog schedule that works for me and have honed this over time to adapt to changes in circumstances. It works (for the moment!).
So, what do you do for work?
This is one of my all-time feared questions! I hate it when I meet someone new and they ask what I ‘do’. SAHM’s are quite few and far between I find so it’s such an awkward conversation when it comes along. I find myself saying I’m a SAHM in an apologetic way and the look of almost confusion on the other persons face makes me cringe on the spot. I then try and cover it really quickly by asking them the same question or by changing the subject completely. I fear that the other person thinks I just sit at home all day and do nothing (see point number 1) and then it all starts again. I feel I need to defend our decision for Mario to be the only one earning a wage and I tell them that ‘we are really lucky to be in this position (which I’ am) but I shouldn’t have to use it as a defence as such.
It’s a tricky one as when all said and done, I love being a SAHM. It’s hard work and definitely doesn’t suit everyone but it’s something I always wanted to be and no doubt when Lottie starts school, I will look for a job that I can fit around the school day so I can still be there for the girls before and after school. Luckily, I have a while to think about it yet!
Do you come across similar problems being a stay at home mum?