This week I wanted to write about a subject that gets missed a lot when we talk to each other about babies and having children, and that is, relationship matters. Relationships are very difficult to sustain even in the best of situations and to be honest; it’s not something that you think will be affected when you have children. At least it wasn’t for us!
It was to our surprise when soon after having our daughter; I found that I no longer had time for my other half. Everything revolves around the new baby, feeding time, bed time, housework and even just getting dressed in the morning takes complete precedence over anything else! All you can think about is baby and unless you have a very understanding and caring partner like I do, it can often lead to a great deal of tension and can result in relationships breaking down!
It’s very important to make sure that you try and make time for your each other, something as small as making a favourite dinner can have a huge effect on how your feeling. Mario and I decided that when Mia was a few months old, we would start going out together again like we used to, once a month and have Mia looked after overnight.
It meant that we could have some time together, catch up on what we were each up to and just generally talk to each other without being distracted by Mia or being too tired to even speak.
We kept this monthly outing up for the first 14 months and I can honestly say, without feeling guilty about it, I looked forward to just being Becca and Mario for one night each month. Once we had Lottie, it became more tricky and with things how they are in the world at the moment, even more difficult but we will do it again! Of course, none of this can be done without a great support network outside of our little family and for that I have to thank my mum, who adores having Mia overnight for us.
What I would definitely say is that you need to make time for each other and have a little bit of normality injected back into your life. I know I tended to forget about Mario’s feelings and just concentrated on Mia but since becoming more aware of it, we have begun to get as close as we were before we had Mia.
It’s so easy to just carry on not talking and not doing the nice things you did together before, it’s easier to just ignore it and presume it will get better on its own but just by communicating with each other, it can change the whole situation and make your relationship stronger, because let’s face it, if your relationship can last through the stresses of having a baby, it can last through anything and that can only be a good thing 🙂
Do you have any particular relationship matters?